


No More An Orphan Girl

by 852_Prospect_Archivist



Series: The Nia series [1]
Category: The Sentinel
Genre: Drama/Romance, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1997-04-13
Updated: 1997-04-13
Packaged: 2017-12-11 06:20:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/794839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/852_Prospect_Archivist/pseuds/852_Prospect_Archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When an old girlfriend of Blair's drops in, she also drops two big surprises.  Can Jim and Blair reach an understanding that will make everyone happy?</p>
            </blockquote>





	No More An Orphan Girl

DISCLAIMER: All characters, etc...all of them in the world of The Sentinel are owned by Pet Fly Productions & UPN. I've just taken them out of the toy box to play and I promise to put them back when I'm done, because I'm a good girl and I always put my toys away.

This story is rated "R" and is sort of a response to Kim's "I'll Follow You." It really saddened me that Blair and Jim didn't have anyone to watch over them when they're old. This is low on sex, high on sap. So, I got to thinking...

The title of this story is from a song called "Orphan Girl." I don't know who wrote it, or who sang it, but I've been hearing it for a few months and it's a beautiful song.

A.B. may you rest in peace.

Many thanks again to M. for the ending.

## No More An Orphan Girl

by Little Eva

Blair Sandburg was so engrossed in his work, he didn't hear the first soft knocks on his office door.

"Shit!" he shouted at the computer screen. Why the hell did his mind work faster than his fingers. He took a deep breath and slowed down his thoughts, which made writing a lot easier. Then, he heard it, a faint knock on his door.

"Come in," he said, still staring at the computer screen.

Blair heard the door open and close. "Sit down, I'll be right with you."

"Okay," the female voice said, and Blair heard something being put on his desk. When he turned around, he found himself looking into the face of someone who looked familiar, yet looked like a stranger. Blair took off his glasses and rose. "Um..." he began, running his hand through his hair.

She smiled. "Blair, it's been a long time."

Blair's eyes widened as he looked at the face. "Oh...shit...oh...Fredi...damn..." How could he have forgotten? The golden skin, the almond shaped brown eyes were very familiar; but there was something different about her...Blair realized what it was. She looked thinner and the long braids that she was so proud of were gone. On her head was a turban, in a Kinte pattern.

Blair recalled his relationship with Fredi Washington, who was getting her Masters in psychology at Rainier. They'd begun a passionate, heated relationship as soon as they laid eyes on each other, and the nights they didn't make love, they spent arguing about politics and religion. Fredi was a "recovering Catholic" and a pacifist. She'd left the university over a year ago, without a word. She never tried to contact Blair and Blair didn't know how to contact her, she had no family, her parents and younger brother were killed in a plane crash when Fredi was fifteen. Fredi had missed that plane and was supposed to follow them to England on the next flight.

"Fredi...gosh...I...." Blair was tongue tied. He didn't know what to say. 'Great to see you Fredi, but I've got a new relationship now...you remember my roommate, Jim?' "How are you?" seemed to be okay.

Fredi opened her mouth to speak, but was stopped by a soft gurgle. Blair looked down at the baby carrier on his desk. "Oh...man..." he said, looking at the baby inside.

She smiled and tickled underneath the baby's chin. "Nia's always got something to say."

Blair looked at her. She was a pretty child, blue eyes, dark brown curly hair, pronounced jaw and lips. "Yours, huh?"

"Yes," Fredi smiled.

"So, I guess you're doing okay. Your husband here too?" Blair was hoping, it would make him feel better to know she'd found someone.

"I'm not married."

"Well...I guess your boyfriend then."

Fredi shook her head. "I don't have a boyfriend, Blair....no one...not since..."

Blair looked into her eyes, then he looked at the baby. "So, who's her dad?" Even before he asked, he already knew.

Fredi turned a deep crimson. "Oh Blair...I know this isn't the best way to do this but..."

"She's mine?" Blair's expressive face was somewhere between surprised, stunned and happy.

Fredi nodded. Blair wasn't surprised. Though he'd used a condom most of the time he and Fredi made love, there were a few times he didn't use anything. He always thought she was on birth control, he never asked him and she never told. Fredi was a responsible woman, she always said she didn't want children until she was forty.

"Oh...man...oh man...okay...Fredi...I guess you want money...right? I mean if she's mine, I got to do the right thing...right?" Inside he was wondering what Jim would think of this.

Fredi shook her head. "I don't want anything from you Blair...no money, nothing. I came here, because Nia is your daughter, and you have a right to know about her...I know I should have told you before but..." Fredi waved a hand in front of her face. Then, she sat down, heavily in the chair.

"I'm dying, Blair," she said simply.

Blair, who had been staring into Nia's face, suddenly looked up, then down at Fredi. "What?"

Fredi nodded. She gestured to her turban. "I've got cancer, of the cervix...the doctors found out a month after Nia was born."

Blair felt as though he'd been hit in the stomach. He sat down and just stared at Fredi. The woman nodded. "I was shocked too, I mean, there I was the mother of a baby and this..." she shook her head. "The doctors say I've got another year...maybe but..." and she sighed heavily. "I'm so tired of chemo and radiation and all that shit. I want to take a trip around the world, or just lie on a beach in Jamaica or something like that, go somewhere I've never been. But I want to make sure that Nia is taken care of, so I'm thinking about adoption."

"Adoption? Nia, if the doctors say you've got a year..."

"Blair, it's a year with the chemo. I'll be so sick at the end that I won't be able to take care of her. And it's not fair, having her bond with me, and then leaving. I know what it's like to feel abandoned...I want her to have a home...so, that's why I came here, you're her father, Blair, and that means you have a say in the process...maybe...maybe you might even...you know...want to keep her..." Fredi quickly looked away.

"Fredi I...I mean....a baby...I mean...it's not...I mean...it wouldn't be my decision...alone...I'm seeing someone and I don't know how...h..they might react to a baby...you know..."

Fredi looked into Blair eyes, she was always able to read him like a book, not a hard task, since Blair's emotions were always on his sleeve. "Wait...don't tell me... you finally jumped your roommate's bones?"

"Fredi..." Blair looked at Nia, glad the baby was sleeping now.

Fredi grinned and clapped her hands together. "Oh, come on Blair, even I could see that he was nuts about you, when I met him, he was so jealous he looked like he wanted to tear my head off. Come on, Blair, don't you remember all those talks we had about humans all being bisexual?"

He ran his hand through is hair. "Yeah but...you've got a baby...I mean...you want two guys raising her?"

"Well, one of the 'guys' will be her father. Sure, she could go into some foster home, or get adopted into a nice looking home with a perfectly straight family. That doesn't mean shit, Blair...hey, most child molesters who go after little girls, consider themselves 'straight'."

Blair looked back into the basket. He smiled and gently stroked Nia's face. Her skin was so soft, and she seemed so...so perfect...Had he ever looked this perfect, this peaceful? Was this how Naomi felt the first time she'd looked into *his* face? God, *he* was a father, a dad. Damn, what the hell did that mean? What was he supposed to do. For the first time in a long time, Blair wished he had a father to ask what he was supposed to do. Abandoned. Damn, Fredi wasn't the only one who knew what it felt like to be abandoned.

"Blair, I'm going to be in Cascade for awhile. Staying with friends. I'm not rushing you, but I do have to know...don't have much time here."

At that remark, Blair looked up, realizing that the beautiful young woman sitting across from him was dying. "Yeah...okay...Look, Fredi...why don't you and Nia have dinner with Jim and me....I mean, I'm going to have to break it to him, and having you there may make it easier."

Fredi nodded. "I'm glad you said that. Thanks Blair."

It seemed strange, her thanking him. He nodded. "Okay."  
  


Jim hadn't gotten home when Blair and Fredi walked into the loft. They set Nia's carrier on the coffee table, and Fredi took the now awake baby out, and gave her to Blair. Blair held his daughter in his arms and looked at her. "Wow...man..." he said.

Just then, Nia started to cry, and Blair smelled something. "Oh...shit...I think she did something...whooahh...she sure did."

"I've got diapers and wipes...I'll change her," Fredi said, reaching out for the baby.

Blair shook his head. "I can do it. You know, I even delivered a baby once...when I was with this pygmy tribe in Kenya...they let me assist, thought it was good luck or something. Fredi put the carrier on the sofa, Blair unfastened the offending diaper. "Wow, Nia...you did a big one girl..." He threw away the diaper in the waste basket and was wiping his daughter's behind when Jim walked in. Immediately, the smell of human feces and baby wipes filled his nostrils. He frowned when he saw Fredi, who he almost didn't recognize either. Blair looked up from the sofa.

"Hey Jim!" He winked.

"Hey Chief. What's going on here?"

Blair wiped Nia's behind clean and put a fresh diaper on her. The baby smiled up at him. "Jim, you remember Fredi Washington, right?"

Jim just nodded. He remembered the young woman with the beautiful skin and bright eyes, who'd sat in this very loft and never removed her hand from Blair's thigh. What was she here for, to claim Blair? Well if she was, she had a fight ahead of her.

"Well, this is Nia, her daughter."

Jim looked down at the baby and frowned at the eyes, lips and mouth. "Hey, Chief, she looks just like..." Jim's voice trailed off as he looked at his lover, then at Fredi. "...like you, Blair..." Jim rubbed his face nervously. Fredi was back, what the hell was the woman trying to pull? Jim stepped back. "Your baby," he gestured to both of them. "I hope you took a paternity test, Chief."

Blair looked into his lover's eyes and saw the hurt, pain and confusion. He opened his mouth. "Jim...um...Fredi brought her over because...she's got cancer...."

Jim looked at Fredi, who slowly nodded. He frowned, her hair had been longer the last time she was there...it looked like...like she didn't have any hair at all. Suddenly, Jim felt ashamed, at his selfishness. "Oh...I'm sorry...Fredi...I'm sorry..."

"Don't be. I've stopped crying over it, Jim. I just wanted Blair to meet his daughter."

"What are you going to do with her?"

Blair looked up at Jim. "We're going to decide...either put her up for adoption or...I...um....you know keep her?" Blair's voice was shaking, quiet, uncertain. "I mean...I can always find another place...you know..."

Jim looked from Blair to the baby, then back to Blair, as he tried to process the news. Blair was a father, he had a daughter, and the child's mother was dying...Blair wanted to leave the loft, leave him. He sighed. Blair wasn't the same man he'd been this morning, when Jim kissed him good-bye. He was a *father* and he didn't need him.

The Sentinel felt his senses all assaulting him at once. He backed up, towards the door.

"Jim?" Blair said, staring confused at his lover, whose face was a mixture of pain, anger and fear.

"I got to get some air...okay...I'm just going to drive around..." With that, Jim turned around and walked out the door.

"Oh...man..." Blair ran his hand through his hair. "Bad move...huh? Guess I better think about getting my own place."

Fredi shook her head. "Blair, I don't want this to come between you and Jim, I don't want to burden you, that's not why I came. I just didn't want some woman to come and see you in twenty years and ask why you never looked for her...I'm sorry I'm causing more problems."

Blair gently put Nia back in her carrier. "No, Fredi...you're not."

"Jim didn't think so. Look Blair, maybe he's got a point. About the paternity test I mean. Maybe you should take one."

"Fredi, I don't need to take any test...I can tell she's mine..."

"But *I'd* feel better if you took it, then you'll be sure...so will Jim...okay...do it for me?"

Blair sighed, then nodded. "Okay." He looked again at Nia. "But I still know I'm your daddy."  
  


Jim lost count of how many times he drove around the same block. He wasn't really looking anyway, just wanted to get out of that place, away from...from what? From Fredi? She certainly wasn't trying to get Blair back...no, she was just doing the right thing. So, what was the problem?

He put in a tape...Otis Redding. The man knew what he was talking about. No more driving around. Jim headed where the music was telling him to go, over to the docks. It was almost dark, and the place was nearly deserted. Jim parked in a well lit spot, put his gun on the seat and kept the engine running, just in case. He let out a long sigh. Blair...a father. Damn...he hadn't seen that coming...Blair had gone out with many women...before committing himself to him, but damn...Jim always thought his lover was smarter than that.

But this wasn't about smart, wasn't even about Blair, and Jim knew it. It was about him. When he walked into the loft, and saw Blair playing with the baby....his baby, his heart did a flip flop. Blair loved kids. He hadn't realized it before. Blair loved kids, yet he was willing to commit himself to a relationship where there would probably be none. Damn, how selfish had he been? He was depriving Blair of having the life he probably wanted. Sure, Blair would probably say no, say he was in love with Jim, committed to him, lovers for life, Guide and Sentinel. But how many years would it take for him to see that he was missing something? Would he hate Jim then?

Jim tightened his grip on the steering wheel. Okay, he and Blair were going to have to sit down and talk about this, like adults...no puppy dog eyes, no touching...like adults...

But first Blair was going to take that paternity test, make sure that little baby was really *his*

Jim went in the doctor's office with Blair, to hear the results of the paternity and DNA tests. Jim wasn't going to come in there, just stay outside with Fredi and Nia, but Blair wanted him to be there.

The doctor, a tall, thin blonde, proper looking man looked at Blair. "Well, Mr. Sandburg, as you know, we did the standard blood test, as well as the DNA test." He looked at a piece of paper. "There is a 99.5 percent chance that you are Nia's father. In other words, you're her father, Mr. Sandburg."

Blair grinned. He looked at Jim, who sighed, then smiled and nodded. Blair rose and shook the doctor's hand. "Thanks...thanks man..." he said.

Jim rose and walked to the door. "Thanks doctor," he said. He left the office first, Blair followed him. Fredi looked into Blair eyes. He gave her a thumbs up sign. "Nia's mine...all mine..." He reached into the stroller and took his daughter out.

Fredi smiled. "I'm so happy." Blair looked at her. She hadn't been well these past few days. He offered to keep the baby at the loft overnight, and then she kept her during the day. Jim looked at Fredi and focused on her. He could feel the cancer cells invading her body, her bloodstream, saw her wince a little when she was in pain.

"Are you okay, Fredi?" Jim asked.

"Sure...sure...Blair...I got my ticket...Jamaica..."

Blair looked at her, then looked at Jim. "When?" Jim asked.

"Three days."

Fredi looked at the floor. "I've called an adoption agency...you know..."

"Oh," was all Blair said. He looked at Nia, looked into her blue eyes, Jim watched Blair, watch his daughter. She was really *his* daughter, there was no doubt about it now.

"Why don't we get something to eat, to celebrate?" Jim said.

Fredi shook her head. "I'm kind of tired. Um...I think I'm going to call it a night. Sure you want to keep Nia tonight?"

"Oh, yeah, sure, she's no trouble." Blair made a small bed for her in his old room, where he was sleeping now. Jim looked down, he and Blair hadn't made love since Nia and Fredi arrived. He put Nia back in the stroller.

"Yeah, no trouble at all."

Blair kissed Fredi's cheek. "See you tomorrow."

"Okay, bye Blair, bye Jim."

Jim just waved to the woman. Blair walked out first, pushing the stroller, Jim followed him.  
  


In his sleep, Jim touched the empty spot in the bed, where Blair was supposed to be. He groaned as images of dinner the past few days invaded his sleep. Blair was so attentive to Nia, Jim might has well have not been there at all. One time, Jim felt so neglected, he stormed from the table, went upstairs and didn't come down for the rest of the night. Blair hadn't said a word.

Yesterday, Jim confided in Simon, about Blair and the baby. Jim hadn't told Simon about them, but he had a feeling the captain knew they were a lot more than just partners.

"I'm worried about Sandburg...I mean, Nia's all he can think about."

"Well, she's his daughter, Jim."

"Yeah...but even when he's here, and we're supposed to be on a case, he's still thinking about her, I can tell."

Simon just sighed. "Jim, Nia is Blair's daughter...I know, wait until the paternity tests come in, but Jim, I've seen that child...Sandburg's her dad, no doubt about it."

"He's changed Simon...he's not..."

"Of course he's changed Jim...fatherhood makes a man change. It changed me. It made me see what was really important in life."

'I thought I was important in Blair's life,' Jim wanted to say, but didn't. "Yes, Sir."

"It made me really understand why I go to work every day, and bust my ass, trying to catch criminals...I look at my son and I say...that's why I do it...that's the reason..."

Simon's words echoed in Jim's brain, even in his sleep. Then, he suddenly opened his eyes. He'd mentally turned off the sound of Nia crying, Blair kept the door closed, and always got up quickly, and always put her back to sleep quickly too. No, Nia wasn't crying, there was another sound. Jim sat up and listened...was it...damn, it sounded like laughter?

Jim got out of bed and padded downstairs, he stood in front of Blair's door and heard it more clearly. Then, he quietly opened the door and walked into the room. Blair was asleep in his bed, books and papers all around him, Nia was in her crib. Jim looked at her, she was moving about as if she was restless...damn, she'd start crying for sure soon. Jim sighed and picked up the baby, holding her gently in his arms. Nia moved a little, then relaxed. Jim tip toed into the living area and sat down on the sofa. He put his finger in Nia's hand and she gripped it, hard.

"Wow, you got some grip on you, Nia," Jim whispered.

Then, Nia's eyes opened wide and she looked up at the man holding her. Jim froze, afraid she'd start crying, she always cried when he tried to hold her. But, Nia simply looked at him, blue eyes on blue eyes. Jim found his eyes filling up...shit...her eyes...they were...just like...Sandburg's eyes...blue and soulful and expressive...even at four months.

Jim rocked Nia against his chest and Nia continued to look up at him. Jim focused on the tiny heartbeat, felt the soft skin against his chest. He looked down at the ten little fingers and ten little toes. He was so engrossed in the baby, he didn't hear Blair come out of his room.

"Oh man," Blair said, running his hand through his tangled hair. "I'm sorry Jim...I mean...I usually get up..."

Jim placed his finger against his lips. "She wasn't crying, Sandburg...I thought...well...I heard her...I don't know..."

Blair sat down on the sofa next to him. "Hey, she's not crying."

Jim shook his head. "No, she's not. Wow, she's beautiful Blair...almost as beautiful as you." Then Jim leaned over and kissed Blair's cheek. "Chief. I want to ask you something, about kids. You love them...don't you think you'd be happier if you were in a relationship where you could have them...I mean...I never even thought about having children and then...when I realized I loved you, and committed myself to you...I just figured, okay, we won't have them. It never occurred to me that maybe you wanted to be a father."

Blair stared at his Sentinel. "Jim, is that what all this has been about? Oh, man, oh, Jim...I never thought about being a dad either, I mean, I never knew my dad and...I don't know what a dad's supposed to do, really. But now, Nia's here and she's my kid and I've got to look after her."

Jim nodded. "So, you're keeping her."

"Yeah. Look, Jim, I can get my own place...I'll work something out...I don't want to be a burden..."

"A burden? Is that what you'll think you'll be? Blair, we are bonded together, you know that, Guide and Sentinel, together forever? Two old men living off by themselves in the jungle? I'm committed to that, Blair...damn, I've been with many women myself, this could have easily been me."

Blair shrugged. "Yeah, guess so."

"Blair, I love you." He looked down at the baby. "You know I never thought I wanted to be a father before..."

"So...are you saying you want us to stay?"

"Chief, where the hell are you going to find a place this grand on what you make? One of the policewomen at the station was telling me about a good day care center that specializes in babies."

Blair frowned. "You checked at the station?"

"Well, sure, you're my partner, Blair, you know that."

Blair's eyes began to fill with tears, but he rubbed them away. "Oh, Jim...I love you so much...I'm so sorry if I've been neglecting you...but...Nia...see...I want to be a good dad for her...I don't want her to feel abandoned."

"She won't ever feel that way Chief, she won't."

Blair noticed that Jim was continuing to rock Nia. He smiled. "You know, Jim, if you wanted to have a kid, I'm sure we could figure something out..."

"...Chief..."

"...you know, get one of those surrogates or something...or hey, they're cloning sheep now so who knows..."

"Chief...One's enough."

Blair grinned. "I can't wait to call my Mom, tell her she's a grandmother. You know, I wanted to wait for the test first...just to be safe..."

"I'm sure Naomi will love hearing that she's a grandma."

"Well, it might shock her at first, but she'll get used to it, after about a half hour of meditation." He sighed. Jim handed Nia to her dad and watched lovingly, as Blair held her. "Hey, Jim...I was just thinking...is this going to be like, you know, Nia has two daddies or something?"

Jim shook his head. "Let's take it a day at a time, Chief, she's only a baby."

"Right. Hey man, Jim...thanks...I love you."

"Don't thank me...I love you too." Jim touched the tiny feet. "Now I know just what I'm working for," he whispered. "When we're old and gray, Nia could come visit, bring her children and grandchildren."

"Jim?"

"Yeah."

"A day at a time, remember?"

"Of course, Chief."  
  
EPILOGUE  
Three Months Later

Jim slowly opened up one eye and looked at the clock that seemed way too bright. The digital numbers loudly proclaimed that it was 2:30 A.M. Damn, they were just catching up on sleep; after Fredi died, Blair insisted on making all her funeral arrangements, of course, Jim helped. Jim reached out with his leg, and kicked his lover softly. Blair groaned something unintelligible and squinted as he opened his eyes.

"What?"

"Your turn, Chief."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. I went last night. Besides, she's your daughter.

"Correction Jim, she's our daughter. Hey, I don't hear her crying."

"Trust me, you will in about five minutes."

Blair nodded and stumbled out of bed, mumbling something about sometimes living with a Sentinel could be a pain in the ass. He slowly padded downstairs and just as his foot touched the bottom step, he heard Nia's voice. "Oh, Nia," he shook his head. "Oh, Jim, right as usual."

Blair went into what used to be his old room, but was now Nia's, and took the baby out of her crib. She was growing so fast, Jim joked that in a few months, she'd be bigger than Blair. Blair held the baby safely in his arms and walked out into the living area. When he looked up, he saw Jim standing there.

"Jim...I thought you were asleep."

He shook his head and smiled. "Couldn't let you handle the woman all by yourself." He sat across the sofa, spreading his legs so Blair could fit. Blair sat down and snuggled against Jim, cradling the baby in his arms.

"I think she just wanted me to hold her," Blair said.

"I can understand that, Chief. She's getting more beautiful every day."

"You know, Jim, you might just have to go buy that shotgun."

"Blair, she's just six months old."

"I know...but these days, you can't be too careful. Right?"

"I guess."

Nia looked at both men, smiled and then. "Dada."

Both Jim and Blair looked at each other. "Did you hear that? Nia...say it again," said Blair.

"Nia...wow...she called me dada."

"You? Jim, I'm the one holding her, I was the one who got up..."

"But she was looking at me, Chief. Come on, Nia say it again."

Nia looked at her two fathers and laughed. Blair smiled, then stroked her curly hair, then Jim reached over and touched Blair's hand. "Have I told you that I love you, today?"

"Well...it's only 2:50? I guess not."

"Well, I love you, Chief."

"I love you too Jim." Jim touched Blair's hand as he stroked Nia's hair. Then, Nia reached up and touched both Jim and Blair's hands with her tiny fingers.

"Dada," she said.  


* * *

Email the author with comments.  
Use your browser's back feature to return to your story selections or start a [new search](http://b-b-t.mit.edu/SXF/cgi-bin/senslash/storysearch.cgi).


End file.
